


you suck

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2019-01-22 11:18:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12480344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Ueda wakes up on his day off to find someone else in his apartment… cleaning.





	you suck

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

As Ueda wakes up without an alarm for the first time in three months, he wonders if this is how Kame feels when he finally gets a day off. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the dryer is spinning – wait.

Ueda’s eyes fly open at the realization that there’s someone in his apartment. Doing laundry. He can’t decide whether it would be better or worse if it was _his_ laundry. Breaking into people’s houses to do their own laundry isn’t unheard of, though. Ueda’s seen weirder crimes on the news.

It’s times like these he’s glad he’s a boxer. Kame keeps a baseball bat by his bed and Maru hides a gun under his pillow, but Ueda has two fists and he knows how to use them. Suddenly wide awake, he slips out from under his covers and soundlessly crosses the room to his door, carefully opening it enough to peek down the hall. Something – _someone_ – in the kitchen is casting a shadow, one that bounces as whoever it is turns on the sink.

Now this person has broken into his apartment to do dishes. This is all too insane to comprehend, and Ueda’s slinking down the hallway in his boxers, flattened against the wall like he’s in a crime drama or something. It’s not until he reaches the open space of his living room that he recognizes the hum wafting through the air, that annoying tone Ueda already has to endure for living.

“Jesus Christ, Taguchi, you had me ready to jump you.”

His tallest band mate looks over from the sink and raises an eyebrow at Ueda’s attire. “You still can if you want to, Tatchan.”

Ueda makes a face as he folds his arms at the pack of golden retrievers swarming all over the place. “Worst guard dogs ever,” he grumbles with absolutely no malice.

“They like me,” Taguchi says happily, squealing when one of them pokes him in the butt with her nose. “Clearly more than you do.”

“I don’t want to think about the implications of that statement.” Ueda looks around. “Why are you cleaning my apartment?”

“Are you complaining?” Taguchi replies, his voice a bit strained. Ueda glances in his direction and sees him bent over the stove, scrubbing away. “I honestly don’t know how you live like this.”

Ueda sighs. “I guess I should be happy you’re not wearing a French maid’s outfit.”

“I thought about it,” Taguchi says, “but it’s really cold outside.”

Cringing at the mental image, Ueda asks the obvious question: “How did you get in?”

“Yuichi let me borrow your key,” Taguchi answers simply. “He’s really easy to talk into things. All I had to do was ask nicely and make him breakfast.”

“You didn’t make me breakfast,” Ueda points out. “I may be marginally less opposed to you being in my personal space if you did.”

“Insatiable,” Taguchi mutters, but he’s still grinning. “I can’t cook anything on this stove, it’s disgusting. You bring women here with it looking like this?”

“The women I bring here don’t _cook_ for me,” Ueda says pointedly.

Taguchi scoffs. “Touché. There’s coffee to tide you over. Please don’t get in the way.”

Raising an eyebrow at Taguchi ordering him around in his own kitchen, Ueda weighs his options and chooses in favor of the breakfast. He is only a man. Wordlessly he pours a cup of coffee and sits on his couch, placing the cup on the little table before reaching for his guitar.

“Did you dust my guitar case?” Ueda asks increduously.

“Did you just put the cup on the table with _no coaster_?!” is Taguchi’s response.

Glaring, Ueda swipes a coaster from the never-before-used pile (he’s pretty sure Taguchi initially gifted them to him) and slips it under his cup. “And you wonder why you’re single.”

“I know, right?” Taguchi replies. “I’m a total catch.”

Just like at work, Ueda lets Taguchi think what he wants and ignores him. He’d planned on spending the day writing music, not specifically for any solo but just to appease himself. He hasn’t exactly had a lot of free time lately, and while he’s not alone, Taguchi _is_ doing something nice for him. In fact, he minds the other man’s presence less and less as his apartment gets neater and more pleasant smelling.

When he sees Taguchi bopping his head in time with his guitar chords, he allows himself a smile.

“Saw that,” Taguchi says from inside the dryer.

Ueda’s chords get angrier, and Taguchi head-bangs as he folds Ueda’s towels. Then he disappears into the bathroom for awhile, mops both the kitchen and bathroom floors, then retrieves the vacuum cleaner he’d bought Ueda for his birthday from the closet. It’s still in the box, and Taguchi’s face shines with a forthcoming pun.

“Don’t. Even,” Ueda says slowly.

“Tatchan, you _suck_ ,” Taguchi declares, his face all grin.

Rolling his eyes, Ueda points to the unopened box. “Clearly I don’t.”

“Touché,” Taguchi says again, and rips the box open. Ueda helpfully lifts his feet while Taguchi vacuums, the dogs racing to Ueda’s bedroom for safety from the loud noise. When he’s done, he puts the vacuum back into the closet and surveys the front rooms.

“Run out of things to clean?” Ueda asks facetiously.

“There’s still your room,” Taguchi answers, flopping on the couch next to Ueda. “But I need a break first. I’m beat.”

Ueda thinks about telling Taguchi that there’s no way he’s stepping foot into Ueda’s bedroom, but right now he has priorities. “Breakfast?”

“Lunch,” Taguchi corrects, “and I’m not a good cook.”

“Tease,” Ueda says, and Taguchi leans his head on his shoulder. He’s sweaty and hot and the only thing in this spotless apartment that feels like home.

“Aren’t you going to get dressed?” Taguchi asks lazily.

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“That’s a shame. I was going to suggest going out for lunch.”

Ueda considers the emptiness of his stomach. “ _Or_ we can order in and not have to move.”

“Now _that_ sounds like a plan,” Taguchi agrees. “Even if I have to suffer even more with all of this skin showing.”

“You’re the one laying on me,” Ueda points out. “Move if you don’t like it.”

Taguchi doesn’t reply right away, and when he does, his voice is quiet. “I don’t _not_ like it.”

“Freak,” Ueda says fondly. “Really?”

“Really.”

Ueda thinks about this. “At least this explains why you cleaned my entire apartment.”

“People have different ways of showing affection,” Taguchi says with a shrug.

“I much prefer the direct approach,” Ueda contests.

He realizes too late that he’d basically given Taguchi a green light, but by the time he thinks to retract it, Taguchi’s already made a move. His lips are inconceivably soft, fitting neatly against Ueda’s thick ones, and his hand is gentle on Ueda’s jaw, guiding him with each feather-light kiss.

“Is that better?” Taguchi whispers, and Ueda’s senses are overcome with a burst of cinnamon.

“Actually,” Ueda says slowly. “Yes.”

For all that Taguchi brags about it, he really is a damn good kisser. Ueda feels sufficiently blown away, falling victim to Taguchi’s hot mouth, and he doesn’t even know how long they sit like that, lips pressing together over and over with no pressure to do more. Taguchi’s hands find their way into his short hair and Ueda melts under the touch, in a way he never thought he would before now. He could have probably done this all day, except that his stomach protests _loudly_ and they’re both laughing as they reluctantly break apart.

Taguchi’s smile looks different now, his eyes brighter. “We should eat now.”

“Yeah,” Ueda agrees. “Let’s go out. I’ll get dressed.”

It takes a lot of effort to get up, not just because he wants to be lazy, and he’s halfway down the hall before Taguchi hollers after him, “And you should treat as payment for my hard work!”

“Whatever,” Ueda calls back, but he was already planning on it.


End file.
